Do you ever wish your kitchen had a centrifuge so that the mustard squeeze bottle would actually dispense mustard?
Yes, I ran into this problem when making a sandwich. The solution: a piece of string.
The basic construction involves 2 tight loops (one around the neck of the bottle, another around the 'waist' or skinnier portion in the middle), and a handle (attached to both loops so it stays centered when you spin it).
You can use whatever topology suits you best, but my method used one continuous piece of string, somewhat similar to tying a ribbon around a gift box. By similar, I mean ribbon^2(giftbox) where giftbox = mustard bottle.
Also discovered that the two red wires in my thermostat were switched, but that it didn't matter for heating, only for cooling. I'm on a roll.
Current music: Don't worry be happy.